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This should brighten your day, only if for a few minutes.

When talking to the NPR staff, former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich said that he was talking to producers about a “a Regis and Kathie Lee-style show for he and Callista to host”.  Oh boy.

Now, narcissism aside; it does appear that Newt Gingrich might love politics but he believes his true destiny is the theatre.  He truly thinks that he is an entertainer first, and you can’t help but admire the blatant lack of self-awareness that Newt possesses.

But, it got me thinking….this show could be awesome and it would be unfair for us to criticize it without first offering our advice for the potential talk show.

So without further adu, here are my proposed segments for “The Newt-Callista Power Hour”:

  • Head writer, Thaddeus McCotter of course
  • “What In The Shell?”-a special segment that shows Sheldon Adelson do various jobs as voted by the viewers.  The first of course would be Sheldon Adelson teaching child janitors how to clean up vomit.
  • A special show once a year on the Mars Curiosity science laboratory.
  • A show where the whole staff of writers, cameraman and factcheckers quit en masse but Newt announces that the show must go on.
  • Guest host Donald Trump who will be the show’s Republican Nation Convention correspondent.
  • “Are You Smarter Than A Palin?”
  • “Stiffer Than Callista’s Hair?” – a weekly segment in which one lucky audience member gets to throw an object of their choice at Callista Gingrich’s hair and see if it can disrupt it.
  • The show’s sponsor, Newt.org and Gingrich will be fined a dollar for each minute he misses without plugging it.
  • “NEWT-GALLONS FOR EVERYONE”
  • Last by not least, a performance by Jack Hanna who will inspire the Newtona 500 in which Newt Gingrich gets to see which animal he is faster than.

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