The title of this blog post speaks for itself. I am a 21-year old male who will never carry a child, so it’s easy for me to say if I’m pro-life or pro-choice. In fact, for the majority of the rest of the planet; my opinion means absolutely nothing. I’m not in a position to have children nor am I in the position to make laws and/or propose legislation to make this issue go away or the opposite.
You see, I’m a proud member of the Facebook generation. Some call us Generation X and some refer to us as the end of humanity as we know it thanks to our short attention spans and questionable work ethic.
I always try to avoid conflict when it comes to my friends and political issues. I prefer the sanctity of the internet to give my opinions and occasionally debate others, do I think it’ll go anywhere? No. Do I think I’ll change a mind? No. Do I hope one person just stops and considers my point to be valid enough to not judge me? I certainly hope so.
Being pro-choice sort of puts you in a weird situation, especially if you are a male. You’ll either hear something like “baby killer” or “you’ll never know what it’s like to carry a child, so why should I bother listening to you?”. The first point is a gross exaggeration that is beyond typical stereotype but the latter does carry some weight.
At my University, we get these people that protest and the student population lovingly calls them “the abortion people”. Usually they show graphic depictions of aborted fetuses and/or damn you to hell if you don’t change the world around you. Everyone, for the most part, tends to view these people with the roll of the eyes or the occasional screamed insult/epithet.
While I would never call myself religious at this current point in my life, I’d never call myself anti anything either. Yet I always feel more grossed out, not at the people, but by the fact that I know deep down a few of my friends/classmates/peers feel a similar way to these people; they just aren’t as flamboyant or open about it.
Going back to Facebook, it’s impossible to not see a shared photo or link that causes you to praise life or demean those who choose to not bear life. These people all have valid points to a certain degree. A mother who has a child can not imagine life without their child. Their child is a blessing, to them, and their world. I am actually happy to see those who now have children fill up with love and pride over their baby’s accomplishments. How can you not be happy?
So how can you be pro-choice?
One argument I always despised was the whole “well, I’m pro-choice but I’d never have one.” That argument, while intended to be non-controversial, always strikes a chord to me. Again, while it is not the intention, I see that argument to be one that demeans women who have underwent an abortion. An abortion is not like a drug where people have addictions to it nor is it something that we should just let people do and not have support for them.
But while that annoys me, sometimes I can’t help but feel a bit more impassioned when I hear someone say that describes themselves as pro-life as “well, why not just have the baby and put it up for adoption?”. It’s not as simple as you think.
Something that both sides are occasionally guilty of is the misconceptions around abortion. While you can’t see yourself having one, there is someone else who might be having one and they never expected it.
An abortion, not just the procedure itself but the mental toll it takes before and after, is one that is complex with many layers beneath it. No one who calls themselves pro-choice is going to immediately terminate a pregnancy. It’s not that simple and no one would consider themselves “pro-abortion”. It’s moreso, we want people who make the tough decision on what to do, to be safe. A pro-choice person will more than likely never have one, but it’s about being there.
The “War on Women” doesn’t include all women either, nor is it something that only Republican men do. Demeaning a woman for having an abortion or trying to over-simplify reasons why she should not have one, is just as socially irresponsible as say; mandating transvaginal ultrasounds.
“Why not adopt”? If you are an expert on what has happened to this women, you probably would not ask that question. If you think you can just simply say that this pregnancy is no big deal, just get over it and put it up for adoption; then you really are essentially saying her (and in a lot of cases “their”) personal tragedy really isn’t a big deal.
If you can’t imagine yourself ever having an abortion then join the club. No one does. No one is ready for a moment in which you an abortion is needed, let alone the physical and mental trauma that occurs before/during the pregnancy.
“I just don’t understand how a mother could do that”. You aren’t alone. This woman never expected a day in which this would come, if she knew this would’ve happened; then she wouldn’t have been in this situation.
Pro-choice means that we support the simple CHOICE for you have the child. If you identify as pro-life and you have the baby, guess what? We are on your side because you chose to have it. You chose to bring life into this world. You are our friend and our ally. Your case simply proves why the choice sometimes might be needed.
Just please consider what you’ve read. You can comment below. You can rate this negatively. You can like my Facebook or follow me on Twitter and blast me away. I will likely not respond as these are my views, just as much as those are your views.
I just hope you listen and think for a moment. I know what the opposite argument is.