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Within the past couple weeks, we have had some great news when it comes to protecting the sanity of the House of Representatives.  Infamous Rep. Michele Bachmann announced that she would retire at the conclusion of her term because of various ethical scandals and unpopularity a self-imposed term limit.  While there was some upset for the simple fact that this all but guarantees that a Democrat can’t possibly win this seat (with a tarnished Bachmann it was slimly possible), it still was a great day for sanity.

However, Bachmann does have an image to maintain.  In a recent interview, Bachmann has not taken running for President again (because it worked oh-so-well last time) off the table and she’s apparently not going anywhere.

It may surprise you but she’s 100% right, she ISN’T going anywhere.  She’s going to stay right where she is, parked in neutral.  She is just now taking part in what I would like to call the Palin playbook.  While its not as commonplace yet as the West Coast Offense, there is a precedent that Bachmann (after January 2015) will follow.

For quite some time, I’ve been meaning to write on article on Sarah Palin and Donald Trump.  Both of these two figures are equivalent to Tim Tebow, just two people who earn far more public attention than they deserve.  Until today, both were free agents as well though Tebow had to ruin that analogy for me a few hours ago.

But I digress, because now I’m sensing the same thing is happening to Michele Bachmann.  Here’s the Palin playbook that she will follow.

  1. Become a pundit
  2. Gradually lose relevance
  3. Hint at future runs for office
  4. Make more appearances hinting at this run
  5. Won’t run
  6. Start over again but #1 become a featured speaker and just keep repeating

Michele Bachmann will never run for office again.  Okay, that’s a bold statement but she probably will never run for public office again.  People are often forgiving of politicians who have suffered through sex scandals but people do not want to be represented by someone that is a national laughingstock or punching bag.  Bachmann has the far-right wing in her back pocket and always will be but unfortunately for her, even the reddest districts will grow tired of you after a certain point.

Now, I know by writing a blog post this I am being slightly hypocritical when I saw, we should ignore these people and maybe they’ll go away.  All I just did was add another article on them in the vast internet world.  But take more word on it that unless they make a bold move, they will likely never see another article written about them.

You see, Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann and Donald Trump aren’t idiots.  Maybe they don’t know how to write legislation, how to campaign to represent all people and heck maybe they don’t even know much of anything on what’s going on.  But they do know that every time they sit down on Hannity or drop a tweet with the word “assclown” in it, they will get in the news.  They know that if they “tease” their potential national ambitions that they will get into the news and rightfully receive the scorn of “liberals” and really anyone else who aren’t diehard firebreathers.

Every time they get complained about or “diminished”, that is all but another $1,000 that they will get when they go to another CPAC type conservative assembly.  The only reason those places still hire them is not because they are relevant, powerful or rising stars but because they know that will get their conference into the news, and they know that.

Donald Trump will never run for office, no matter how bored he is or how desperate he is for a retweet to stay relevant.  It makes sense that he does that too, he was once a mogul and now he has to decide whether to fire Trace Adkins or Ja Rule or Paul Anka.  He needs something to make himself feel important because let’s face it, he’s Ryan Seacrest without a failed daytime talk show.  Rich, yes, important?  Nah.

Neither will Sarah Palin, her time has come and gone as a political player.  Once your reality shows get cancelled, its tough to try and convince someone you are a political powerhouse and to be fair at one point she was flirting with that ideal.  No more though, all she can be is something akin to a (if you watch hockey) Sean Avery type person.  A professional agitator that can’t stay employed at one section because she just isn’t worth the headlines.

If those two won’t, Michele Bachmann probably will not either.  If she resigned on her own terms, and not because of “term limits” (wink), then maybe I’d be willing to think she thought she was needed.  But no more, she’s ethically flawed and even if she does run again; she won’t sniff a title.

Let’s let these people go away, we kind of did it with Allen West and Joe Lieberman.  Let’s give it another go.